The Memory Ornament

this is a one-chapter christmas themed fluff fic about makoto and haru from "free!"

***

With his nose turning red and his breath visible in the air, Haru placed his hand on the doorknob to turn it. He had braved the chilly Tokyo weather to venture all the way over to Makoto's apartment. The close friends did not have close apartments; Haru had to take a train to get to Makoto's. But still, it's good to live in the same city as your best friend. Several months had passed since the move, and the entire time, Haru had been hoping that he and Makoto would form a stronger bond together and maybe even grow into more than just friends.

The door was locked.

Makoto usually remembered to leave the door to his apartment unlocked when he knew Haru was coming over, but apparently he had forgotten this time. Oh well. Knock, knock, knock. Haru waited patiently.

Over the past couple of weeks, he had repeatedly texted Makoto asking when would be a good time to meet up, but somehow it was always impossible to find a good enough time. Finally Makoto had agreed to let Haru come hang out at his apartment one Friday afternoon... just for a while. Makoto was a member of his university's Academic Excellence Society, and they were going to have a big meeting that night. He had warned Haru in advance, and so Haru made sure to get to Makoto's place early enough so that they'd have a lot of time. Makoto answered the door with a smile, and Haru walked in and dropped his backpack down next to the wall. In his backpack, he had brought something fun for the two of them to do together.

But Makoto didn't seem to notice the backpack. He just said hi and then looked down at his cell phone, probably to check his schedule. Haru watched his friend slide his fingers up and down the touchscreen for a few seconds. Then the blue-eyed boy waved his hand a little and said "Hey. So, how are you?"

"Oh! Yeah, I'm doing okay!" Makoto quickly looked up, and his smile seemed happy yet tired. "Um... so what do you wanna do?"

Haru was a bit surprised. "Wasn't there a funny video you wanted to show me? You texted me about it earlier." He pulled his coat off his arms.

"Right! I forgot. Let me find it..." Makoto opened his laptop and started searching the internet for the video. Haru tossed his coat carelessly on top of the couch and then grabbed a nearby stool to sit on. The boys watched the video, then found another funny one to watch, and another. The setting sun grew weaker and lit the room with a soft orange tint.

After a particularly hilarious video that had them both laughing hard, Makoto suddenly started talking about school. "Ahaha, that one reminds me of last week... I was eating dinner at the dining hall and I was sitting with a few guys from my history class, because we all eat with each other every Thursday. Anyway..." The smile left Haru's face. "One of the guys had put way too much food on his plate. It was crazy. I don't know why he was so hungry, but we were all telling him not to drop his plate, and he did anyway! It was so funny because he was screaming like 'Aaaaah! Nooo!' And one of the other guys was like..."

Haru put his elbow on the counter and rested his cheek in his hand. Makoto wasn't even looking at him. The rambling went on a little longer until Haru said, "Wow that's crazy. Hey weren't we supposed to do decorating or something? I forgot until now." He hadn't forgotten at all, but simply wanted to change the subject away from Makoto's strange school life that he didn't care about.

The main thing they had planned to do that afternoon was decorating a small Christmas tree and putting up a few other decorations in the living room. Haru had already put a few decorations up in his own apartment, and he'd done it alone because his best friend had not had time to come and help. Meanwhile, Makoto had taken out his own tree and decorations, but never found a good chance to actually put them up. He figured he'd just not put anything up after all, but Haru had the idea to decorate anyway even though Christmas was only about two weeks away.

For a while they were calm as they set up the tree, untangled strings of lights, and put the lights on the tree. Haru started to get the first few ornaments, while Makoto decided to hang up some festive-looking garland on the walls.

"Ugh, why is this tape not sticking?!" Makoto lamented. "This keeps happening to me. I did a project a few weeks ago for science class, and it was supposed to be like this interactive poster thing, but parts kept falling off my poster after I brought it to class!! People laughed at me but I mean, I was laughing too. It was kind of funny. At least I got a good grade. The girl who sits next to me was telling me how lucky I was, because she didn't get a good grade, you know? Her project didn't follow the teacher's directions completely, because what she did was..."

Another school story. Haru distracted himself by playing with a sparkly gold ornament in his hands. But Makoto kept talking. Haru needed to get Makoto to focus on him again, and so he thought of the perfect subject to bring up. "Hey. Hey, Makoto? Where's that memory ornament?" On his knees, he rummaged through a cardboard box containing Christmas decorations and other random stuff.

"Huh? Oh, that? Yeah, that should be in one of those boxes..."

The "memory ornament" was an oval-shaped red and green photo frame ornament that held a photo of Makoto and Haru from when they were seven years old. The photo showed them on a playground at the park, sitting on swings, looking at the camera and smiling. (Even Haru smiled a tiny bit.) Years ago, the Tachibana parents bought Makoto a photo frame ornament and put the playground photo inside. Every year, that ornament was proudly displayed on the tree, and it always sparked nostalgic thoughts and conversations. But this year, it wasn't on the tree... or anywhere else. Haru searched and searched for it, but could not find it.

Haru looked over his shoulder at Makoto and told him, "Um, it actually isn't in any of the boxes."

"It isn't?"

"No, it definitely isn't. I checked." Then, a question. "Is it... lost??"

He wanted to get a "no" answer, but instead, he got Makoto nervously scratching the back of his neck and saying "Um... I'm not sure." His heart sank a little as he listened to Makoto continue. "Back when I moved into this place, I was really in a hurry, and all my stuff got disorganized."

Haru just stared at him and blinked, not saying anything.

"The Christmas decorations got mixed together with all these other things and..." He hesitated to say what was next. "There were some things I threw away recently, so maybe it accidentally mixed in with those thrown-away things??"

So that was the answer. The memory ornament was gone. Haru was about to say something when Makoto, not really improving the situation, said, "B-but it's not just the memory ornament that I lost. I think I'm missing a few others. Like, see those red diamond-shaped ones? I swear I had more of those--"

"Who cares about the diamonds??" Haru snapped. "That's no big deal. Just buy more of them later. The memory ornament's more important. ...I can't believe you threw it away."

"I... I'm sorry." The brunet hung his head in shame. "It's my fault. I'm sloppy. I should have been more careful."

That didn't satisfy Haru at all. He sighed loudly and then refused to say anything else.

They continued decorating in silence for a few more minutes, but it wasn't fun anymore. Each rustling and clinking sound the decorations made seemed very noticeable and awkward. Haru wished they could do something else. Then he remembered the backpack. In his backpack were all of the ingredients to make cookies from scratch. He had packed several things including a recipe book, Christmas-themed cookie cutters, decorative frosting tubes, and sprinkles. Haru knew Makoto was hardly skilled at cooking, but surely the two of them together would figure it out, and have a good time doing it.

They were almost done putting up the decorations. Haru was eager to show Makoto the cooking supplies but there was a mess of glitter, sequins, and little green pieces that had fallen everywhere. Haru offered to clean up while Makoto finished the remaining decorations. Somehow, the act of carefully, methodically cleaning all of the mess away had a calming effect on him. As he vacuumed the last bit of junk off the floor, he felt better about the missing ornament because at least he genuinely appreciated being able to spend some time with Makoto today.

That's when Makoto asked him a question. "Hey Haru, do you think I should just leave now?" He was looking at the clock.

"Huh?"

"That big AES meeting, remember? It starts in a little over an hour, so I was gonna leave fifteen minutes beforehand so I can get there a few minutes early. But now I'm thinking I should leave now and be extra early. What do you think??"

'What?!'  Haru shook his head. "No, that's way too early. Why do you need to do that?!"

"The AES president is really strict and harsh. He likes it when people show up early, and he gets irritated when someone's even one minute late." He stood up and glanced around like he was looking for something. "I was three minutes late to the last meeting, and he scolded me in front of everyone!! It was awful. And I was one minute late to the one before that."

"Wow that's so bad," Haru replied sarcastically. "But honestly, it's silly to go so early."

Makoto spotted a stack of papers on the kitchen counter and hurriedly went and snatched them up. "I'm not going to go directly there. On the way, I can buy a snack to bring to the meeting. I think he likes cheesy snacks the most."

"Why does it matter what snack he likes?"

Makoto's phone was nearby, so he took it and slipped it into his pocket. "Because I need him to like me. If he likes me a lot, maybe he'll appoint me to a club officer position. It'll look good on my resume." He walked into his room, out of Haru's line of sight.

"You can't stay here for just a little bit longer? Seriously? There was some other stuff I thought we were going to do."

"That's great! But we can do that another time. I've gotta go right away." He came back into the living room.

How annoying! Pleasing this silly club president was apparently more important than pleasing his dear friend of many years. Haru rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to accept this. He had to make Makoto understand. He let out a snarky comment.

"Oh sure, okay. You don't have time for anything else, but gotta be loyal to the boss, right? What are you, his pet? You have to run up to him so he can pat you on the head?"

Makoto let out a frustrated sigh. He set his papers down on the coffee table and looked straight at Haru.

"All right. Look," he began. "I know you're upset because we haven't been able to get together as much anymore. I know. I get that! But, I mean... that's how it is now. It's not like in Iwatobi when we lived down the street from each other, and went to the same school, and all that."

Haru felt his heartbeat quicken.

"Yeah I'm trying to do a lot of things these days, but that's because I'm trying to achieve a lot. Sure it's not easy, but it's worth it."

"But why do you--"

"Please just trust me on this, okay? It really is worth it! I'm doing all this stuff for a reason. It's important." His voice was firm. "My life is different now. I can't just be with you whenever you feel like it. There are other things that have to get done. And I really hope you can understand that."

Silence. It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Then Makoto picked up his belongings and carefully inspected them, making sure he had everything he needed.

Haru wanted to retort with something angry, but nothing came to mind. Then it hit him. Being angry wouldn't solve anything. In fact, nothing he could do would solve this problem, because Makoto's life wasn't under Haru's control. It wasn't as if Haru could force Makoto to drop other activities and spend more time with him. Makoto was way too busy, and that was that. Haru had heard of the concept of best friends "growing apart," but he'd always assumed that he and his own best friend were immune. That would never happen to them, right?

Haru fiddled with a piece of dust on the floor. Guilt was creeping into his thoughts. Makoto was obviously stressed out, and Haru ever did was bug him. 'I should have supported him more... encouraged him more... or something. There's no denying it: I'm a pretty useless friend.' He didn't cry, but he felt a heavy, almost sick feeling in his stomach. 'No wonder he doesn't want to spend time with me...'  He wished they could go back home to Iwatobi. Go back to the past. Undo this move to Tokyo that messed everything up. The sound that squeaked out of Haru was barely audible. "Bye." And with that, he put on his coat and backpack and left Makoto's apartment.

Brisk, icy cold air flew into his face as soon as he opened the door and stepped outside. Dim lights guided his path along the walkway and down the concrete stairs, and soon, he was under the stars. He didn't even want the thought 'I can start looking for new friends'  to enter his mind. How was that going to happen? Yes, he had met several new people after moving to Tokyo and beginning professional swim training. Yes, they were very nice. But the problem was, none of those people were Makoto. Haru was not sure how to fix that problem.

Ping-a-ling! A noise came from Haru's phone. A long time ago, Makoto had helped him customize his phone so that texts from Makoto made a different alert sound than everyone else's texts. It was supposed to make it seem like Makoto was a closer friend than everyone else. What a joke. Haru looked at the message: >if you want to you can come back...if you dont want to it's ok we can talk later< Caught off guard, Haru whispered "What??" to himself. And yet, of course he turned around and started going in the other direction.

Haru walked back in through the door, which was not locked. He didn't close it. "Okay, what's this all ab--"

Large arms wrapped around him and brought him so close, it was like he was being buried in Makoto's shirt. Haru was shocked, and his heart beat faster as he was pressed even more tightly into Makoto. Why was this happening? It was confusing, for sure. But it felt so good. He couldn't form words. "Ah-- Hm??"

Makoto pulled back and looked directly into Haru's wide eyes. "I wasn't sure that you wanted to come back here! Sorry for making you leave and then telling you to come back."

Haru knew that Makoto felt guilty, and it made him instantly have sympathy for his friend. He didn't think it was necessary for Makoto to feel guilty right now. "I didn't mind coming back here. It's really nothing."

"Sorry I kept being so... I've been so unavailable." Makoto's hands were still clutching Haru's upper arms, fingers pressed into his thick coat. "I should have made more of an effort to spend time with you. Honestly, the truth is--" At this point, he broke eye contact and started looking around-- "I could have spent more time with you if I really wanted, but I didn't want to spend time with you while being stressed. I didn't want you to see me like that." His head was bent down.

"No, I WANT to see you when you're stressed!" Haru burst out. "So that, I mean..." His voice became quieter. "Maybe I could have helped in some way."

"Aww, that's nice of you, Haru," he replied in a gentle tone.

Haru knew he had to apologize too. "Sorry I got mad about the memory ornament. I know it was just an accident. I lost my temper a bit."

Makoto said that it was okay, but Haru still felt pretty bad. The cold air from outside flowed in through the open door, and Haru felt it from behind. He said, "Hey, you need to go to your meeting," and made himself pull away.

"Oh..." Makoto walked to the door, but instead of exiting out the doorway, he pushed the door closed. He turned around and said, "I'm not going to that."

He had said that as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It wasn't obvious to Haru. "Huh? You're not??"

Makoto grinned and said cheerily, "I'd rather spend the evening with you!" He took off his coat and hung it on one of the hooks on the wall. Haru was surprised, but he did the same.

"Why would you want to miss this meeting?" he asked as he put his backpack on the floor. "Won't the president get mad at you?"

Makoto grabbed his phone, went to the couch, and sat down. As he did this, he said, "You know what, I don't even care at this point. I'm tired of trying to make him happy. I'm gonna text him and say I can't make it." Haru sat down beside him, so close they were almost touching, and looked at the phone. Makoto texted >sorry but i cant be there tonight. something came up at the last min.<

The president would certainly be mad at Makoto, and yet he still wanted to be with Haru anyway?! He actually wanted to give Haru his time. Haru was actually something he genuinely wanted! The thought of the two of them growing apart seemed absolutely silly now. Haru's heart swelled, full of gratefulness. He wondered why he had been blessed with such an amazing person in his life. The screen flashed with the words "Message Sent." At that moment, Haru leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Makoto's cheek.

Makoto's head jerked up a little bit in surprise. He put the phone down beside his lap as he turned to look at Haru with a wide-eyed stare. Haru stared back, surprised at what he had just done. The room was still. There was no talking as the two of them studied each other's faces, their noses inches apart.

Haru suddenly jumped backward a bit and said "Uh, hey, I d-didn't show you what's in my backpack." Face flushed red, he got up and quickly walked over to where his backpack was.

Makoto was still a bit dazed and stayed on the couch for a moment. Then he got up and went to follow Haru. A huge smile lit up his face as Haru showed him the cookie ingredients that they were about to mess around with together. It became clear that it no longer mattered that the memory ornament was gone. This evening would create so many new memories.